Well, yesterday was the first day that I woke up feeling kind of positive about Keiran's health. I may be fooling myself, but I am willing to steal a little happiness right now. I was in a store and actually didn't want to cry when I saw the baby clothes. That's a big step for me. I even thought about buying her something. Another huge step. I think that I am still a little scared to go that far though.
Maybe by being so positive I am making it worse if things do go as the doctors think. Then I think, can it actually be made worse? I really don't know.
I haven't had the courage to research what the small placenta and elevated cord pressure means. I know that it isn't good. I don't want to read the horror stories. I will just wait until Wednesday when she gets the echocardiogram. I need to get out some paper and write down everything that I am wondering about. Maybe I'll need a notebook......
My peri is amazing. He is one of those doctors that you know really found their true calling. If anyone that reads this needs a peri in the Austin area, just let me know. I think this man and his staff are all wonderful.
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