10/18/05 part 2

I have been depressed once in my life. It was awful. I hated it. The weirdest part was that there was no reason for it that time. Right now I know that there is a reason and it still feels horrible. I feel such guilt for being depressed. She deserves all of the happiness that I would feel if I didn't know that she was going to leave us. Can she feel my sadness? I wonder about this a lot. Does she know what I feel?