I've been thinking a lot lately about whether it is easier to know that I am going to lose her, or if would be easier to be totally ignorant.
Knowing as I do allows me time to try and bond and love her as much as possible. I can also attempt to try and prepare myself for her death. On the other hand it makes me a jittery wreck and an emotional tornado.
If I didn't know then I could live out the rest of my pregnancy blissfully unaware. Then when we finally lost her it would be a total shock. We would have all of her new stuff and have been fully prepared to bring a child home.
I guess there is no better way. I am glad that we know though.
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