Keiran has fallen further behind. She is now over four weeks behind. I am so sad about that. A small (and very stupid) part of me blames myself. Did I eat good enough? Logically I know that it is the small placenta, not me. Logic isn't my strong suit when it comes to Keiran though.
She has flipped back around for some strange reason. Little stinker. Now she is head up. I am hoping she'll flip again soon. It really explains all of the weird pressure I have had lately.
I don't even know what to think anymore. A woman I work with came to school today to show off her little girl. She is three weeks old. She never approached me and I never went to see her. I hope that she doesn't think that I am not happy for her. I just can't deal with it right now. A really good friend found out that she is pregnant. She and her husband have been trying for over a year. I am so happy for her. It seems like everyone around me is getting pregnant.
I remembered yesterday that we were planning on having my shower in late November or early December. It would have already happened. I cried at the thought of it and then felt kind of selfish. I don't care that I am not getting presents. I just wish that this whole pregnancy wasn't surrounded by such sorrow. Hopefully there will be cause for celebration soon.
I am always a mess after my peri appointments. I cried all last night and then again this morning when Trey went to leave. Poor guy. I really suck to be around lately.
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