Trey has been bombarding me with affection. He is always very affectionate with me, but he can't even pass me in the hallway without hugging or kissing me. I knew that something was up. Nothing bad, but he has been a little more needy and attentive. I asked him about it. He told me that he is scared. He said he has no scenarios playing in his head or anything, he is just scared for both Keiran and me. I assume that his fear is pretty normal for first time fathers. I'm sure his is magnified with our situation being what it is. I am lucky in this respect. I get to concentrate on just getting her out. Looking beyond that at this point is too much to think about. His whole family is going to be in the hospital. His wife and child are both going through some pretty big stuff. It must be so scary for him. Poor guy. It would have never crossed my mind he he not been acting differently.
I often wonder what our next pregnancy will be like. I hope that it won't hold the same fear that this one has. I'm sure that we will be nervous, but it won't be like this. I read that you can have a CVS as early as 11 weeks. Bring it on!!! I am so not afraid of needles (and that one was pretty big). I just want to get that phone call where they say, "Everything is perfect." I think about that moment often. I hope this doesn't make me a bad person. I would assume that a hungry person's greatest desire would be for food. Having a sick child, my greatest desire is to have a healthy one. In fantasy land Keiran would turn out healthy, but I don't kid myself with those dreams. I just pray to have the strength for whatever comes.
No comments:
Post a Comment