I'm a mess today. The kids were so good yesterday and today they are trying my patience. So here I am on my lunch break writing in my journal. i should probably eat.
We went to Hallmark yesterday because I wanted to look around. Trey and I have this tradition of buying one ornament a year since we have been married. This was his year so I went to look around and I asked him to look for something for Keiran too. I found the baby section and picked out a frame that I wanted. Trey comes back and tells me he found something for Keiran. He holds up this ornament of a little girl called the "Little Irish Dancer." She has brown hair like Trey and green eyes like me and I just lost it in the store. He tried to hug me, but that just made it worse. I had to walk away. The silliest things keep setting me off. Now we are going to buy an ornament for Keiran every year too. I also bought her a little teddybear that is dressed up like a bunny. It is the sofest thing I have ever felt.
My sister sent me the words to a new song by Kenny Chesney:
Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
I see your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughing in the rain
Still can’t believe you’re gone
It ain’t fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all the way
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I’ve been through
Just knowing no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder who you’d be today
Would see the world?
Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family?
I wonder what you would have named your babies
Some days the sky’s so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy
It ain’t fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all the way
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I’ve been through
Just knowing no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder who you’d be today
Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
The only thing that gives me hope is
I know I’ll see you again someday
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