We went to Build a Bear today to make an animal for Keiran. I have no idea how it got started, but Trey and I call each other "bunny." I have been calling Keiran "little bunny," so I had to get the bunny. We have previously tried to go there and I couldn't handle it. I made it today though! Hooray for me! Ok, so I almost lost it once, but I recovered and we got to finish. We got to stuff it and make little wishes into its heart. I didn't really make a wish though I just said, "Mommy loves you sweetheart." We didn't buy any clothes or anything, I liked it just the way it was. When we printed the birth certificate the bunny's weight was listed at 13 oz. That is the exact weight Keiran was at at our last peri visit. It made me smile.
When we got home Trey said, " I won't make fun of you if you sleep with it." I told him good, because I was going to do it either way.
Sometimes I feel like I am annoying to my family. I am such a sad sack all of the time. I feel like Eeyore on a bad day. I try to be happy, but it feels so fake. I am certain that they are sick of me moping. I can't help it though. I can find joy in a lot of things, but I am not the sunny Jamie that I used to be. It feels like I may never be that way again. I know that I am depressed right now and I know that I won't remain this way forever, but I won't be the same ever again either. I think I am just rambling now....
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